“Everyone you meet
comes with baggage.
Find someone who
loves you enough
to help you unpack.”
Dr. Deepak Chopra is an author and alternative-medicine advocate. TIME magazine describes Dr. Chopra as “one of the top 100 heroes and icons of the century. He’s a prominent figure in the New Age movement, and his books and videos have made him one of the best-known in alternative medicine.
In one of his recent weekly Podcast’s he spoke about the four keys to a successful relationship, which he called the four words that begin with A.
Acceptance, don’t try to change them, or try to prove them wrong
Appreciation, notice their strengths
Affection, let them know that you care
Attention, be a good listener
Sometimes, we find ourselves focusing on peoples faults and we see them and say to ourselves, “oh no there they go again”, when they do something that angers us or annoys us. We get frustrated and annoyed at them or even very angry at them. When this happens, whether it’s a personal or professional relationship the first thing we need to do is remember:
What is our shared vision with this person? What is the emotional bond with them? Most importantly, what are their strengths? How do these strengths complement yours. We all have unique strengths.
We also may have times in our life where we fall out of rhythm or we see the persons differently and not how they were when you first started in the relationship. This is the time in the relationship when you press the pause button in your internal mind, and you say to yourself, what am I observing? Ask yourself, what am I feeling? What is missing here? How do we fulfill this missing need? You can also ask the other person the same questions. Most importantly you ask them what are you needing from me and how can I help you? It’s important to be open and honest without being critical and accusing.
We need to periodically check-in with our partner which often is scary. We need to be honest and often we might not get an answer we want to hear. If that happens, say to them, at least I offered you help and I’m here for you.
We take on the energy that is around us. These energies, fears, anger, happiness, sadness, no matter what these energies may be are contagious. If you find yourself absorbing peoples emotions and their negative energy which can affect your energy and positive outlook, we must decide that you are going to be independent of anger, criticism, and flattery. This way we get in touch with our true self. Don’t tell them their negative energy is affecting you, because it will only make matters worse. The best thing to do is, ask yourself, what is the most creative way to nurture this relationship?
That’s it. Sounds simple, but it’s not easy to apply these techniques when we’re in a challenging relationship. It needs a little practice in our daily lives. How about beginning with each day using just one of the four A’s.